Christianity and Homophobia (2)
The Church and Homophobia, originally posted on Facebook in August 2011
It was/is the homophobic attitudes and outlooks of Christians which led me to write this article, eventually. It would have been great if I had written it 30 years ago (for which I am truly sorry), though I would not have been ready, nor, apart from my only gay friend at the time, had any kind of positive audience.
I cannot say that I have had many gay friends and I regret that I did not, or could not, talk through the issues with them. However, as I reflect, there have been a number of people that I have been in touch with over the years. I will set out here some of their experiences with the church/Christianity (where that has been an issue) and my own links with them.
My friend at the first church that I ever attended in South Wales was a year or so younger than me. He was clearly struggling with who he was and how he fitted in. Eventually, apparently, he ‘came out’ at church (possibly just to the minister). He was probably about 16 or so, I do not know if he was in any kind of relationship. I guess, as I never talked to him about it, that he wanted to know how his sexuality fitted with a ‘straight’ and uncompromising religion (straight and uncompromising would be an understatement of our minister’s character). Clearly, as far as the church leadership was concerned, there was no fit, he should repent, of course we never saw him again. He went for help, understanding, counselling even but, presumably, was either asked to leave or told that he could not be part of ‘us’. This is/was, in effect, ‘institutional homophobia’, like ‘institutional racism’. I repent of my own homophobia on that occasion, I was torn between loyalty to my friend and loyalty to the church. Did anyone ask at that time ‘What Would Jesus Do’? How much better would it have been to have left that church then? So, I was unprepared for the same situation a few year later.
While studying Theology at the University of Wales I had a gay friend, like my first friend he was struggling. The University/Theological College didn’t have a problem with him but Christianity did and there were plenty of hardline Christians around (Welsh Calvinists). He could not achieve a comfortable place for himself with fellow Christians, Christianity or the church, so of course he left. It could have turned out much better, people, my friends, were let down in their time of greatest need and the ‘Gospel’ (it wasn’t the Gospel) pushed them away from building their own relationship with God and with others. I repent of my homophobia in this situation, I didn’t do anything and I didn’t help him, I was not equipped. As I continued my studies one of my colleagues, a lecturer with whom I shared a study room, challenged me — ‘Who created gay people?’ ‘God’ I answered, the conclusion was obvious they (or better — us), like all of us, were made that way by God. They didn’t choose to be gay, any more than I chose to be straight. In fact I am not straight through choice, I never made that choice, it was made for me as part of my psycho-physical make-up, I did choose to become a Christian (though not to be a homophobe). Different situations, different processes.
I had gay colleagues in the Civil Service, they knew I was a Christian, unsurprisingly they were not keen on traditional Christianity! Who can blame them? But experiences, encounters, relationships seek us out (you can call this karma).
A member of our extended family (you will appreciate that I am trying to be as non-specific as possible) struggled with his sexuality as a young person and a mature adult. The church generally did not help him much, though I think perhaps a kindly, liberal minister (of another tradition) may have done. Through many challenges, experiences and health issues he came to accept himself in later years in a way that was not open to him in more conservative times and places. I wish that I could have talked to him more about it but at least he knew that I was not homophobic and did not have a problem with homosexuality. If you cannot be who you are then what hope for you? And religion deals in hope and human flourishing.
More recently another friend, in fact a ‘religious leader’ if you will (this helps to anonymise him further) has shared how being a gay Christian does not fit in even less hardline Christian traditions. Leading the ‘Derby Resolutions’ study (Methodist position on LGBT issues) was an illustration of this. How to be all that you are with those you are closest to in your church/Christian community if they cannot recognise you, if you cannot share (or be ostracised), if you cannot get married, if the church will not recognise or bless a Civil Partnership? If homosexuality is not illegal (it is not), if it has no impact on others (it is private), then what does it have to do with anyone else? If you can’t answer this question then don’t dare to be public with negative attitudes towards homosexuality.
Part of my own journey away from religious homophobia (religion taught me to have a problem with gay people) includes two retreats led by non-straight people. It really is time to stop being hung up with people’s sexuality. My mischievous liberal friend had a word for it which normally I would not share — ‘Evangenital’, the translation, should you need it, is ‘very strict on abstinence but strongly focused on concerns about the sexuality and sexual practices of others’, the plank and speck problem again. With apologies to all Evangelicals.
So here are my thoughts now — some Christians seem to have an excessive concern with homosexuality when there are other issues in society about which they express much less interest (though, I would argue, Jesus would) — consumerism, greed, exploitation, marginalisation of the weak in society. One organisation even had issues with Symon Hill’s ‘Walk of Repentance for Homophobia’ (a great initiative). Maybe some of these groups and individuals are not homophobic (for those who are in disagreement with me, please note this comment), but they are not on the side of those who challenge homophobia either (it certainly needs to be challenged on the football pitch and elsewhere). Some even challenge the whole notion of homophobia. For some, I would argue, there is an excessive concern with same-sex sexuality, it is hardly a big theme in the Bible! It is treated as if it is a great threat to the ‘norm’. This over focus on a sexual minority is not balanced by a similar focus on everyone else. The 10%/90% relationship has been hopelessly over-balanced.
I cannot answer why some strands of Christianity are attached to a confrontational ‘straight’ identity as it seems to be driven by something which is fundamentally non-Christian. If I have read it right though, for some Christians, they are attached to a confrontational straight identity, perhaps as part of a general confrontational Christian identity. ‘Gays’, apparently, are the other, to be challenged, campaigned against, ‘cured’, scapegoats in fact. Christianity, for some, can be defined as not gay, not Muslim, not aborting, not in favour of euthanasia, to give some examples. Not all groups and individuals are as attached to these ‘non-blocs’ as others. Homosexuality is one of the big ones though, for some, you wouldn’t want to ‘come out’ in even some ‘moderate’ Christian contexts. All of the mainstream denominations have not fully addressed the issue or come to a position where gay people can be fully and positively accepted, except by Unitarians, Quakers and more inclusive individual congregations and movements. My ‘Derby Resolutions’ study resulted in a fairly even division between those OK with homosexuality and those who were not, despite the Methodist Church’s official position. Again, not the kind of context in which anyone would want to ‘come out’, it is unsurprising that gay people do not come out, though any talk of ‘coming out’ illustrates the problem. I never ‘came out’ as ‘straight’! It’s tempting though to challenge the incredible attitudes which are still out there. Some would say this is homophobic (or institutional homophobia), it is at the least ‘gay-unfriendly’.
Religion, as I have sought to illustrate, is implicated in this. Those who are most opposed to homosexuality do so, or are so, for religious reasons and have religious motivations (at least their position is informed by a particular religious understanding). I would argue that religion does not tell, or ask, us to behave in this way.
Read part 3 here.
#Homophobia